Been doing a lot of … erm… writing theraphy lately. Just expressing random thoughts, typing away like a nutcase with no particular objective. Its kinda weird actually why I like to do it, but somehow it brings some sort of relieve, perhaps im just a coward who cant seem to express certain thoughts verbally, hence venting them virtually here… hmm…. guess that must be it.

I did a long mail yday, that poor dear had to read through my boring ol rants…. then I thought, why not do it here. At least no harms done to anyone. (click X now if you feel you are!)

So I’m all up for ROUND 2!!!

Feel like ranting so much bout sale sale sale. Everything seem to be on sale now. Went to a booksale during the weekend in Amcorp, spent almost RM200 on books I may or may not read. Hrmph…. and thinking back, it was a very frustrating experience. As the crowd was way too wild, ppl grabbing books rudely, even once away from my hands before i actually put it down. Imagine this, me irritated, by the crowd, the dust, squinting to read every single title & author on the cover, held up a book for 2 seconds to get a closer look, before putting it down, some idiot jerk it off my hand!! I barely have time to tell him off, he took it and dissapeared in the crowd. DAMMIT! And another thing i hate bout that particular book sale was, it TEASE me too much!!!! Its like having foreplays and never a ‘happy ending’. I kept stumbling upon authurs im looking for, ie: john grisham, jeffrey archers, michael connelly, etc. However, they are always titles that i already have, or the were the same one as i have in my box. So there I was, lugging around a box of crap (that I took out of frustration since I cant seem to find what I want), I kept glimpsing names of those authurs. I found out there was a Geoffrey Archers, a John Connelly! Im like WTF! Seriously… super long foreplay is no fun at all! It got so frustrating at one point I just gave up, but trying to walk out of that aisle was another nightmare!! Tease after tease, came the ulimate erm.. flick? . I saw 2 box full of books I wanted!!!!! Doved in to grab it, and got screamed off by a lil gal guarding it.. apparently was for her family. Then her bro came and politely say it was all their. ARGH… JUST MY LUCK! On a reflex instinct, tried to flirt by battling some lashes (sans mascara.. argh), and asked sweetly where can I get those Allan Folsom books… guess me in sweaty gym outfit without make up did not work a lil bit at all… he simple said “I dont know.. everywhere lah’… FARK…

Anyways.. i left there rather unhappy but still manage to grab a couple of books i may read. Sayang got himself mostly outdated golf mags… bah.

Ok.. back to work

Cant believe I did not even blog about this… Jeez… All my priorities in life went haywire. Been drinking too much, partying too hard, eating too much. No suprise that Im uber fat & fugly now, with flabs and really bad skin. Dark eye rings, obvious wrinkles, tan skin, bad hair cut, argh… or are these just signs of getting old. Well, not gonna be a slacked, gonna rejuvenate myself… like right now!!

Guess its time to refocus on whats important and….. whos important…

Ok back to the topic.

Club Med… ahh… Paradise on earth… literally.

Was a refreshing break for me & sayang, to just chill out, relax, rekindle the sparks… tee hee. Theres not much we want to do, apart from just rest & relax. Everything we possibly want is there. Which is why its literally a paradise for us. Just wished it was a 2 week stay rather than just 3 nights.

Where do I start the story, theres just so much to tell. Although its been a month plus since, every detail is still so vivid to me. but DAMN, should have blogged about this early. Anyways, better late than never I guess.

Lets start with what Club Med is famous for. The GOs!!!

The GO(Guest Officers) there were simply superb! Friendly, energetic, charismatic, they are the ones who made the stay in the village more memorable. They made extra effort to chat with with the guest, get to know us better, made sure we are comfortable, took note of our feedbacks (we made some minor comments and they were taken care of), but most importantly they were just simply everywhere!! There werent too many of them actually, but somehow they always seem to be around. Teleportation? haahhaa.. they seemed to!

Most of the time, we just bum around by the beach or pool, reading, chatting, people watching. Free flow of any drinks, juices, beer, cocktails…. obviously i went for the cocktails. Have tons of them, maybe bout 10 glasses a day… Minimum! Tried all the conventional ones, till the bartender made me his own concussions… SUPER UBER YUMMY STUFF!!!!~~!!~~!!

The stuff this bartender makes me comes in various colours… weird colours..  but all tasted really good.

My Fav. We named this 708.

The beach is awesome. A lil bit too strong current for my liking, but the waves were fun to play with. At 1st I was a lil afraid (being the lil coward I am), eventually, after several time Sayang coaxed me to finally enjoy the waves. It was all thumbs up after that!!

We just love love love camwhoring in the ocean dont we!

As always, loving the sunsets by the beach. The fuzzy warm feeling is just precious… makes me smile each time I look at this pic.

Still within the 1st yr of marriage, Sayang is just so sweet..

Wonder if he will still do this 5 yrs down the road…

Loving my holiday..

 Activities are aplenty. One can never be bored in Club Med. Theres Yoga, Diving, snorkling, flying fox, water sports, etc…. HOWEVER…. boozing since 8am makes it rather impossible to be too active throughtout the day. 

Decor changes every night in Club Med Village. So much effort was put in to impress us, and its amazing how creative they can be. This was local cultural night (Thai style)

And they have Asian Night, this was the Chinese Street

Performances were just amazing. The GOs transformed into entertainers at night, and each night theres a different theme that comes along with the decor, music, attire and performances. Wowza eh? And everything is transformed within 2 hrs while most guest are taking a nap or getting ready for dinner in their rooms.

Food, is always my favourite part of every holiday. They serve a variety of food, ranges from western to jap & korean to local thai. They even have a variety of dessert from various countrys. Apparently some Jap desserts are flew in from Japan and some super yummy packets of seaweed are fresh from Korea. Again, amazed at the amount of effort put in, to ensure the VVIP treatment.

Breakfast is always my special meal of the day. I love to wake up really early and enjoy being one of the 1st few people there for breakfast. Love to choose the best table around with a view of the ocean and slowly enjoy my breakfast. It could take up to almost 2 hours sometimes…. savouring every single bite while enjoying the view, chit chatting with sayang & other guest, or simple just zone out with my book.

I miss this so much!!!!! Jap sticky rice with loads of pickles, some sort of vege soup, salted eggs & century eggs… SUper SUper YUMMY! Argh… where can i find these here…

A memorable dish… prawn fritters in sweet sour spicy sauce…

Pigs Blood Sausages.. its actually really good!

Being me, I tried some street food as well, was pretty good! Meat on skewers.

We celebrated Sayangs Bday there. Ordered lovely Choc Cuppies from Buns In The Over (Sheryl Ong), took it all the way to Club Med and had it as dessert for dinner. We shared them with the GOs who so kindly sang Happy Birthday.

*Look t the lil kid checking us(me?) out… hahahahaha

We made some friends there, with random people from all over the world. Theres this old Jap couple who told us such lovely stories of their travels throughout Asia, and how they absolutely love Thailand. Theres also this Korean family who striked us as weirdos, and their kids ate SOOOOOOOoo much yet so small in size. THe boy was actually 11 yrs old and we thought he looked no where older than 5! Theres also some Americans, we got chummy with this dude, Luke, who came with his huge family, prob 10 of them. He was just darn glad he could have cool beer all day long in this humid weather.

All in all, it was a lovely holiday.

After getting the tattoo….

Somehow, I felt renewed…..

But on the other hand, its a lil dissapointing in some ways. I don’t feel what I’m suppose to feel…

I did not forget… why? After a week plus of getting inked I still cant figure it out. Maybe deep inside I didnt want to? I dont know.. its crazy to want to keep something so preciously that hurt you so bad… maybe… maybe I am crazy..

Well, a tattoo does not gives you amnesia after all…

But it does makes me feel proud that I’ve went through it despite being so afraid… and it does makes me feel… renewed. Like I should be able to endure any pain by now. (well perhaps not labour pain)

Borneo Ink’s guest tattooist – Owen William from Tattoo Magic, Melborne was the one who took my virginity away. Officially I’m permanently tainted. I know.. the horrifying thoughts of what it looks like when im 80 came to mind… but what the heck.. I may not live past 50.

The wait was torturing, I was jittery and nervous. Somemore compared it to seeing a dentist. I wanted to retort some stuff but bit my tongue. Dont want to seem mean. I was always afraid of the dentist..  but this is so different.

I was obviously afraid of the pain.. but mostly.. I’m afraid of what it would do to me emotionally.

I cried.. a lot during the process. Its undeniably painful. The pricking and buzzing is awful. Having friends around to support was comforting, but its too embarrasing to shed tears over physical pain in front of friends.. and some strangers too! But mostly, the tears just flowed.. as I listened to Kelly Clarkson – Because of you… again and again.

Because of you… I finally have a fairy watching over my back,

Because of you… I am no longer afraid

Who’s right there every time you cry
Gonna sleep and wake up on your side
Endless love i always provide
They hatin on us and u should no why
But who’s be lovin you lately
Who’s willing to go half on a baby
Who who who’s trying to flag our ship
They just tryna get the love u give

But baby
Tell me what they know about my love
My love
x8

ooohhh

[Mariah Carey]
They don’t understand why ill never leave u
Explain my love? i don’t need to
Got everybody way up in our business
Cos leaving each other stay on their wish list? 
I see them reachin everytime u call me baby
They on my back like a shirt get off me baby
They don’t love me let them wonder why
Here to stay and they going bye bye
Who’s the one callin u baby
Who’s in love with your ass like crazy
Who who who’s tryna flag our ship
They just tryna get the love u give baby

Tell me what they know about my love
 Mylove
x 8

My love is your love
There ain’t nothing in this world that they can do to make me give u up
Oh baby you will always be my girl
So let them do whatever, say whatever
Cos i ain’t givin her up

Tell me what they know about my love
my love
x 8

So true.. some ppl should just mind their own business!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Latest addiction… used to be one of my fav song.. longgggggg time back… I feel old!!!

“When Love And Hate Collide”

You could have a change of heart, if you would only change your mind
Instead of slamming down the phone girl, for the hundredth time
I got your number on my wall, but I ain’t gonna make that call
When divided we stand baby, united we fall

Got the time got a chance gonna make it
Got my hands on your heart gonna take it
All I know I can’t fight this flame
You could have a change of heart, if you would only change your mind
Cause I’m crazy ’bout you baby, time after time

Without you
One night alone Is like a year without you baby
Do you have a heart of stone
Without you
Can’t stop the hurt inside
When love and hate collide

I don’t wanna fight no more, I don’t know what we’re fighting for
When we treat each other baby, like an act of war
I could tell a million lies and it would come as no surprise
When the truth is like a stranger, hits you right between the eyes

There’s a time and a place and a reason
And I know I got a love to believe in
All I know got to win this time

[Repeat Chorus]

[SOLO]

You could have a change of heart, if you would only change your mind
Cause I’m crazy ’bout you baby…Crazy…Crazy

Without you
One night alone
Is like a year without you baby
Do you have a heart of stone
Without you
One night alone
Is like a year without you baby
If you have a heart at all
Without you
Can’t stop the hurt inside
When love and hate collide

 Someone said Ive not been posting party pictures lately on my blog.. so here goes!

Sept ended finally. And Oct is treating me so good!!! Within the 1st 3 days itself I’ve got 2 new toys!! Yippedy yay!!!

1) Spanking new DiGicam. Canon Digital Ixus 100IS

Love love love love it!!!  Light, sleek, clear pics, what else can a gurl ask for.

http://www.canon.com.my/p/EN/114-Digital-Cameras/203-IXUS/842-Digital-IXUS-100-IS/

Some may not understand my obsession for taking pictures. But its just something that lights up my moments especially if its a group outing. And the joy of viewing those pics again after a long time, priceless. My philosophy has always been, every moment is worth capturing, regarless happy or sad ones. Going out without a digicam sometimes is almost painful. Especially in the midst of all those joy and laughter, i’ll always think to myself.. DAMN.. this is one moment I would love to remember. Then i’ll whip out my phone and settle down for the sucky quality. Yeah… pathetic. But lifes back to normal now.. tee hee… camwhore heaven here I come!!!~~!!~~!!~~!!

*to that special someone, thanks.. and yes, will make sure this last more than a year.

2) POKEN POKEN POKEN

What is it? I am tired of explaining it again and again. So check it out here!

www.doyoupoken.com

Comes in various designs, here are just some of them

 Here’s my very own Poken. Those of you out there who owns one, let me know, we can meet up at ‘high 4′.

Its still too early to say that this Oct will be the perfect month for 2009, not sure if it can top February, my all time favourite month…. but im sure it will come damn close. Heading of to Club Med Phuket for Sayang’s bday trip, hope its gonna be a damn good one. And theres the Halloween Party, hope its not just overated but is actually good. Argh.. still need to get a costume!!!!! And theres few birthday boys in Oct… wonder what to get him.. Hmmmm… ;P

Hate it when I lay open wide eyed waiting for sleep to come…

Mainly cos its frustrating, gives me a headache & screws up my day schedule. Always feel lethargic and slow to response at work. Damn.. this is not good at all.

Guess its time to see the experts… sigh..

When I was 5, I remember mom telling me, I’m a big girl now. And ‘big’ girls gotta learn stuff, and asked, what would I like to learn? She explained good little girls usually take up ballet, piano or violin. Can’t remember what I said exactly, but remembered clearly that I complained to daddy and said I dont wanna be a girl, I wanna learn to fight! Err.. dont ask why.. but i guess I wasnt a girly girl.. (dad reminded me of this recently actually.. ) Apparently when I was little, I wanted to be a boy. I hated anything girly. Pink was the colour I hated the most. However, as mom does best, she nagged and nagged and I finally chose one.. chose piano. Mainly cos I dont have to wear that silly tutu or stuck any instrument under my chin.

So I remembered my 1st piano very clearly. It was bloody huge ass to me. I cant reach all the keys. Heck my feet cant touch the ground. I’m like.. must I use all these keys in one song??? I almost regretted my decision. My 1st music lessons was in Yamaha Music, Ong Kim Wee. Cant remember my teacher much, but I was wondering if im playing the piano, why am i learning other instrument. Mom used to work just next door, so I remember so clearly how I used to get bored in class and told the teacher I need to wee wee, but i ran next door to peep at mom instead. Yea Im kind of weird like that.

My serious piano lessons begin with a private teacher. Again cant really remember her name now, its something that sounded quite strange. Anywayssss… she was quite nice. Rather strict though, but guess I was too adorable for her to smack my fingers. Well actually she did it once or twice, but it didnt hurt that much, I cried some crocodile tears anyways and she didnt do it all too often.

What I hated the most about my  lessons is the sight reading part. Dont know if its my imagination, but I somehow always play whatever I want and not what I am reading. I totally sucked at it. To make things worst, I refuse to admit I sucked. Remembered during one of my exams, think it was Grade 4, i totally goreng-ed the sight reading portion. Suprisingly, my gwai poh examiner laughed so hard. Probably Im the youngest candidate that year, she let me off easily. Just told my tutor to let me practice more of it. Mom gave me hell though… sigh

I ditched my tutor when I was in Grade 6. Guess the brat in me was showing. We disagree in many ways, and told mom I wanted to quit. Stopped a year or so, and continued with another teached, Mom’s aunty actually. She was a fantastic pianist and a great teacher. Guess that was the time I truly enjoyed playing. It wasnt so much about getting distinctions in examinations, it was more about letting me play pieces I want. It was mom and the ex tutor that always stressed on the importance of having good grades in exams, putting so much pressure on me. And I was so little to understand that I wasnt really enjoying those pieces. I practice every evening the same songs again and again but never truly loving those pieces. But this new tutor was truly a breath of fresh air. Practise is still always a must, but she always stop in btw classes, fed me food and asked me if I was happy, and if I was enjoying my lessons that day. I played lots of pop hits for her which I loved so much (being a teenager and all…) and I never have to practice scales for the hundreth time in front of her! All I need to barter for her kindness was a mere passing mark but assure her I’m enjoying my time with the piano. She explained to me how good pianist always love what they are playing, and hates to be forced and wont be. The moment we start dreading touching the piano, thats the moment we stop being a true pianist. That  everyone, is truly a sign of a good tutor.

Years have passed now, and somehow last night when I was so wide awake (which happens a lot recentlty), I’ve thought so much about my past, the life I left behind. What happened to the girl who just want to play the piano for her own entertainment, for fun,  rather than playing for a gold cert with Distinctions on it? What happened to the girl who wasnt afraid to ditch her tutor who wasnt teaching her right? What happened to the girl who is not afraid to be herself?  Most of all, what happened to the girl who used to love herself, love her life and love her pieces so much? I am so not what I am these days. In fact I am the direct opposite. I gotta find ways to be what I used to be again, I miss her…. I truly do….

I was so sentimental when I left Malacca about 10 years back. I left in a bad way actually, quite abruptedly. More like running away. Just wanted to start fresh, eager to fly free. However, of all things, I insisted that I took the piano with me. It was huge, heavy & bulky. But I was stubborn. I thought it would be my only friend. However, being in a new city, new environment, new life, it was forgotten. I’ve actually not been playing seriously for about 10 years now. . One thing I am still thankful of, despite moving a few times, it has always stuck around with me.

I recently stumbled upon this song. A pretty sickening hit for some of you, for it has flooded all radio stations for quite some time. But this piano version got me hooked. Somehow made me feel like playing again.. A tunesman is coming tomorrow to fix that 20 year old piano.. keeping my fingers crossed.

Enjoy this and for those of you out there who felt you missed your old self too, try to find yourself again.

You Belong With Me