2010 is drawing to an end soon. It’s that time of the year again to reflect the happennings of 2009, the good and bad, the ups and downs, the highs and lows, the happy and sad.
Reflecting should not = to regreting. As always, time moved on, pretty quickly too. It just sped through… WOW… we are approaching the end of 2009. Barely 2 weeks left. Its 9 days to christmas, and its 14 days till the closing of 2009. The cliche questions during this time of the year are always ‘What have you achieve?’ I rather not go there… its a danger zone, a trap that is gonna lure us into a deep dark hole throughout the whole festive period.. all bcos we asked ourselves this ugly question and more of the time giving it a rather dissapointing answer.
Since 2007 Ive told myself, its the little things that matters more. I dont chase big false career dreams anymore. I dont crave for materials and cold hard cash anymore. I dont dream of living in castles and jetting off to whichever country to shop as I wish anymore. Its not that Ive become more cynical, I guess Ive come to realize that its the little things that matters more. No LV, GUCCI and crap like that can sit with me and have a nice romantic dinner + good conversation, No Porche nor Ferraris can drive me to a land where theres only love and no hatred. Here’s what Im proud of for 2009.. the little things that matters…
1) Cut my hair: Beginning of 2009, chop of my super long hair. Was very emotional for me, but then again, it’ll grow. And I need to start afresh. Am loving the every phase of my growing hair now. Its annoying sometimes, but then through the length of its growth I remember the occassions, the ppl I meet. And I remember the comments, those who said they missed my long long hair, and those who raved about my short bob, and some who said as if grows to shoulder length thats where I look best… most importantly, I cherish the attention & effort of these comments… its merely meant… they love me enough to talk to me bout my hair… the little things ppl… the little things.. 
2) More visits to the less fortunately: Not exactly what Im truly proud off, (I should be doing more), but at least I did not miss my yearly visit to a charity home, went to the orphanage. This Sunday am going to the Disabled Children Home in Taman Megah. *smile smile* It always make me ache whenever I see those kids. Those cheerful bubbly kids that puts on a big smile and greet us every so politely. As if there are no worries in the whole world and their lifes are perfect. They wish us well, thank us umptheenth times, and most importantly, they did not complain, did not whine. It was all smiles. And thats why it hurts more. They smiled genuinely… yet, luckier ppl like myself, puts on a fake smile all the while. Little things ppl…. little things…. I’m gonna try to smile more.. and make those smile matter…
3) Tattoo: Proud of myself in some ways, Ive endured the pain of getting a tattoo. It was way overated I know… but I have my very own set of rationales.. and no.. NO REGRETS! Definately not. Its something Ive always wanted, and I DID IT. But what Ive learned and treasured most about getting it, its not really the tattoo physically, its a little lesson behind it. A tattoo.. is just a tattoo.. It wont give you amnesia, it wont give you protection, it wont give you miracles, it wont give you any shit… cos its just INK ON YOUR SKIN. But what it gives is a memory so deep, a emotional attachement, a sense of security, a shining light at the tunnel, a symbol that the next phase of life is due. Yes, a tattoo is just a tattoo… but its the little things that matters.. the little unspoken meaning of it that only you and you should know, yes… its the little things ppl… the little things….
4) Enjoyed more alone time: Being the only child, somewhat had a phobia, or maybe a strong sense of dislike to be alone. Hate eating alone, walking around alone, basically hate doing anything alone. Feels like im on display… like in an aquarium or something. Shopping is quite alright aas im all distracted by the pretty things in the shops that I would like to have, but all in all… I try to avoid being alone.. Sad.. I know. However, lately, have had the opportunities to spend more time with myself.. loads of alone time. Even spent some alone time in public. It is.. truly liberating. I train myself not to be so self concious now, an important skill to have… cos what ppl think or say truly dont matter.. its the other things that matter more. Gotta strive to love those dates with myself more.
5) Skinny dipping: Notti notti.. I know.. 
… But this is one thing Im really glad I did. Not gonna divulge where and when and with who… the point is.. I did it. And it matters. I know its a little petty event that probably wont matter much to most of you, but it does to me. Its again.. very liberating. Not gonna elaborate much on it.. but these are the little things that matters…
6) Facebook: It has become an important part of my life… sad.. I know.. but it does gives me some joy being able to share thoughts, pics, songs, etc with people. Yea.. I know.. some of those ppl dont matter much, but still… its the thought of me participating in a virtual scene, im part of the web.. and im free to say whatever i want to whomever i want without being too self concious… . There have been just too many debates bout how FB is affecting our lifes, I’m not gonna get into that ugly argument again. But as ‘no-life’ as I am… its the little things like FB and Twitter that kept me happy, and picks me up when Im down.
7) Holidays: Taking short breaks and holidays, be it with a bunch of friends or hubby is just simply heavenly. Drop things that dont matter much to life (like work, issues, money, etc etc) and just enjoy the few days away from town. Simply divine. Refreshing breaks like this actually increases productivity at work so work gets done within working hours and the rest of the hrs can be spent on things that matters more.. *wink *wink… Im proud Ive made more effort this yr to take these breaks, and saved up enough to fund it. Im actually making sacrifices on buying stuff with logo that dont matter and shower them all into holidays with friends and sayang… worth it or not? My verdict? Best decisions ever this yr. The LVs, Prada, and other crap can wait.. till im old and 60 and theres no more joy in life, I’ll prob snag myself some to reassure myself Ive not missed out on these goodies before i die.. For now.. its the little things that matters….
Friends friends and friends: I put in extra effort conciously, and investing more time and money in 2009 to nurture relationships with friends.. friends and matters… I know.. its hard to differentiate true friends.. but as Im approaching auntiehood… it gets easier. Its easy not to get too attached with friends we have doubts about.. and its easier to spot those nice ppl with good heart. I would say there are many of them around, but I’m truely thankful for having them. A handful are childhood friends from school, some are gems Ive discovered after the previous break up (4 yrs back), and some are pretty new but very promising and should translate into true good friends! I do try, and will still try very hard to keep the friendship going. Its not your money I want, its not your glamour statuses, its not your popularity.. its the little things that matters. You know who you are, I treasure you guys dearly, the love, the friendship, the years of memories we’ve had.. I’m glad we had them.. and heres to many more years of memories to come!
There are few more things to mention, but you get the idea. Some things are better left unsaid.
So heres a lil sad Christmas Song, to finish conveying my thoughts.
Have a merry christmas everyone.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1i9G60wvH7Y
The Christmas Shoes
It was almost Christmas time, there I stood in another line
Tryin’ to buy that last gift or two, not really in the Christmas mood
Standing right in front of me was a little boy waiting anxiously
Pacing ’round like little boys do
And in his hands he held a pair of shoes
His clothes were worn and old, he was dirty from head to toe
And when it came his time to pay
I couldn’t believe what I heard him say
[Chorus:]
Sir, I want to buy these shoes for my Mama, please
It’s Christmas Eve and these shoes are just her size
Could you hurry, sir, Daddy says there’s not much time
You see she’s been sick for quite a while
And I know these shoes would make her smile
And I want her to look beautiful if Mama meets Jesus tonight
He counted pennies for what seemed like years
Then the cashier said, “Son, there’s not enough here”
He searched his pockets frantically
Then he turned and he looked at me
He said Mama made Christmas good at our house Though most years she just did without
Tell me Sir, what am I going to do,
Somehow I’ve got to buy her these Christmas shoes
So I laid the money down, I just had to help him out
I’ll never forget the look on his face when he said
Mama’s gonna look so great
Sir, I want to buy these shoes for my Mama, please
It’s Christmas Eve and these shoes are just her size
Could you hurry, sir, Daddy says there’s not much time
You see she’s been sick for quite a while
And I know these shoes would make her smile
And I want her to look beautiful if Mama meets Jesus tonight
[Bridge:]
I knew I’d caught a glimpse of heaven’s love
As he thanked me and ran out
I knew that God had sent that little boy
To remind me just what Christmas is all about.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1i9G60wvH7Y
The Christmas Shoes is a universal story of the deeper meaning of destiny, of sharing humanity and carries an important message, that sometimes the smallest things in life can make all the difference so don’t wait for big, materialistic opportunities in life. Open your eyes and you will believe in miracles!
